I just responded to a blog post someone wrote about having an open heart and empathy. I was raised by my parents to put other people first, to walk a mile in the other guy's shoes, to turn the other cheek, to treat others the way you want to be treated. I'm realizing it's all crap.
The truth is I have extended myself to others my whole life. I have done, focused on, comforted, aided, helped, been there for other people literally my whole life. The truth is I have been sucked dry by those very same people. When I have actually told people what I've needed, it is always turned around and I'm told what they need. When I have told people what I'm feeling, it gets turned around and I end up being told how depressed they are. When I've asked for help, it gets turned around to how much they need help.
All I want is for someone to listen to me, just once. I want to be treated the way I have always treated people - with grace, dignity and respect. I want someone to put me first. "Do unto others" doesn't work. On airplanes, before take off, they tell you to put on your oxygen mask first, then help those around you. I think that's they way I've got to live my life. I've got to take care of myself first, then I can be available to others. No one else is going to put me first or make me priority.
I know I'm ranting. It's strange though, my first inclination is to apologize for saying what I feel and that now it's out of my system. I've got nothing to apologize for. It's what I'm thinking and where I'm at. This is supposed to be a place to share and that's exactly what I'm doing.