Finally, my submission for the craft magazine is all finished. It feels so good to get it finally on its way. Soo good to be finally back doing something that I love. I slipped very easily back into creating something from start to finish, enjoyed thoroughly the feel of threads and fabric in my fingers, the excitement of watching each component of the design come to life, the losing myself in the gentle too-ing and fro-ing of the needle, the sitting down at the computer and writing out all the instructions, sitting at the desk drawing out the pattern, it just felt soo damm good. Then there was the packaging of it and seeing the very helpful and friendly postal worker carefully wrap it for me. The moment the address label was stuck on and it was ready for its next journey was like seeing a child off on its travels, all wrapped up, provided with everything it needs and then sending it out into the big wide world. Now it is on its way and I feel the excitement building as I wait patiently for it to get to its destination, the worry over whether the editor will like it (she was very enthusiastic over the photo). Its all part of my healing, all part of getting something back that I had thought was lost to me. The excitement, getting fired up, its all been something lacking for a while, my get up and go that got up and left has finally got up and returned to me. I have a feeling of something big, something good, something that is going to knock my socks off. I have had glimpses of this in the past, it was fleeting, but now I feel that this feeling is here to stay, it has become a habit, second nature rather than the constant feeling of why me and surely there is something better than this, yelling out at the universe - come on, do something.

I have new energy today, very positive. Is this all part of the new energy shift? Am I too 'high'. I awoke bright and early and instead of trying to get back to bed for just 30 more minutes I dressed and faced the day with new eyes. How long will this renewed energy last for - do I take advantage and rush around doing things just in case I'm going to crash and burn later. No, I will just go with the flow, gently let this new course take me where it will, no fighting it, accepting the few potholes along the way.

I want to spend the day creating something or I can completely guilt free, just sit and do absolutely nothing. It is soooooo wonderful to just be me, no trying to please others just for the sake of an easy quiet life.

Jan

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Metta

 May we be at peace
May our hearts stay open
May we remember the light of our own true nature
May we and all beings be completely healed

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