It is said that as you get older, you will become more and more like your parents... if you have not consciously held and developed your own awareness. It is also said that if you heal and rewire your conditioned patterning, you may still evolve and grow into your own distinct Self, without following the imprints or patterns of your family lineage or ancestors. Sometimes we call this "legacy breaking." And sometimes, we are just older souls on the journey to our own autonomy and enlightenment. We may also be healing a long standing karmic pattern that we wouldn't have otherwise recognized.
Of course, as part of the human chain and DNA, we will always have at least some traits that are distinct in our families, be they physical traits, or emotional/personality/talents and gifts. And that is ok too. Maybe you have the musical gifts of your grandparent. Or you find yourself tossing the kitchen towel over your shoulders like your mother. No matter what else we may have experienced, there are always wonderful elements to embrace in every family lineage. And it is all a part of embracing ourselves and of loving ourselves and the miracle of life, and family, here too.
Here is a great little article on just this topic. I am also reminded that we have chosen our families, to learn and heal and grow. And if nothing else, their souls have agreed to enter this journey with us together, creating an opportunity for us that we couldn't have had without them, while perhaps even knowing that they too would have some hardships in the bargain. namaste Generate Your Own Patterns - Becoming Your Parents (or not)
We don’t need to become our parents, we can transform our lives and release all patterns and chains that bind.
Heredity plays a role in almost all human development, whether physical, mental, or emotional. We tend to look like our parents and are subject to the same sensitivities they have. We may even be predisposed to certain behaviors or preferences. As we grow older, we become increasingly aware of the traits that exist within us and the clear history of the traits of our mothers and fathers. Our response to this epiphany depends upon whether the inclinations, tendencies, and penchants we inherited from our forebears are acceptable in our eyes. We may honor some of these shared traits while rejecting others. However, there is no law of nature, no ethereal connection between parents and children, that states that the latter must follow in the footsteps of the former. We are each of us free to become whoever we wish to be.
When we accept that our parents are human beings in possession of both human graces and human failings, we begin to regard them as distinct individuals. And by granting mothers and fathers personhood in our minds, we come to realize that we, too, are autonomous people and in no way destined to become our relations. While we may have involuntarily integrated some of our parents’ mannerisms or habits into our own lives, conscious self-examination will provide us with a means to identify these and work past them if we so desire. We can then unreservedly honor and emulate those aspects of our mothers and fathers that we admire without becoming carbon copies of them.
Though many of the tempers and temperaments that define you are inherited, you control how they manifest in your life. The patterns you have witnessed unfolding in the lives of your parents need not be a part of your unique destiny. You can learn from the decisions they made and choose not to indulge in the same vices. Their habits need not become yours. But even as you forge your own path, consider that your parents’ influence will continue to shape your life—whether or not you follow in their footsteps. Throughout your entire existence, they have endeavored to provide you with the benefit of their experiences. How you make use of this profound gift is up to you.