conscious wellbeing for ourselves & our world
Looking back over the past 7 years of my personal recovery journey and it is startling to witness how different I feel today. Amazing. I have truly been liberated. Seven years ago this year I was fortunate to find myself attending some rather rare and precious classes with some rather rare and precious master teachers. They were teachers leading a 7 week class in codependency recovery. And this learning truly changed my life. It was definitely the missing piece in my own long-active spiritual path. And I am so grateful for that class (and those teachers/arch-angels extraordinairre) today. That learning healed me. And set me free to move beyond. Here is a post I shared a few years ago. It still holds true today. For those embarking on the deeper path to emotional healing and recovery, wishing you peace, joy and serenity. And most of all... flight! It happens. :)
From Codependency to Freedom -
Are you recovering from codependency? Do you have traits of the codependent emotional system?
Recovery from co-dependency happens with Awareness, inner healing and learning to own and have your feelings.Learning what your true emotions are and how to express them is equally important.
Codependency is a trauma coping behavior system and happens when we are raised in environments that did not feel safe or emotionally nurturing. Sometimes you have to dig deep to find threads of codependency in your own life.
Here are some of the characteristics of having grown up in dysfunctional homes:
Patterns and Characteristics of Codependence
These patterns and characteristics are offered as a tool to aid in self-evaluation. Persons may experience some, most or all of these traits. They may be particularly helpful to newcomers.
I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.
I minimize, alter or deny how I truly feel.
Low Self Esteem Patterns:
I have difficulty making decisions.
I judge everything I think, say or do harshly, as never "good
I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts.
I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires.
I value others' approval of my thinking, feelings or behavior over
I do not perceive myself as a lovable person.
I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or
I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same (high level empath).
I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long (may apply to contact with family of origin).
I value others' opinions and feelings more than my own and am afraid
to express differing opinions and feelings of my own.
I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what others
I believe most other people are incapable of taking care of
I attempt to convince others of what they "should" think and how
they "truly" feel.
I become resentful when others will not let me help them.
I freely offer others advice and directions without being asked.
I have to be "needed" in order to have a relationship with others
I am passionate about my own recovery from codependency. The earned rewards (gifts) from codependency recovery are many, and include acceptance (inner peace), bridging your duality, authentic self-love, empowerment, compassion (for self) and becoming Whole again.
I never thought of myself as codependent. In fact, I am a fiercely independent and adventurous free spirit. But when I "stumbled upon" codependency recovery along my own healing journey, the truth and wisdom I felt in those classes brought me to a new level of understanding and healing myself. It was a new level of awakening. I began to see the 'other side' of my dual nature. A side that was dearly calling for love, nurturing and conscious attention. I realized that although I had a strong experience with touching into enlightenened states, I also had a part of me that struggled. And although I could stand on my own as an independent and self sustaining adult, I sometimes struggled emotionally. I had a terrible anxiety, especially in new groups of people, and in fact had great difficulty identifying my own feelings and inner boundaries within my family and beyond. A sensitive, it was easy for me to get lost in the energy and emotions of another. I was highly empathic, yes, but I found out this was also b/c there were not strong boundaries in my own dysfunctional family. What a relief! I found people who "got it", and me! And people who were working consciously on their own return to Wholeness. I finally felt a peace I cannot explain. Because it all, and by "it" I mean "I"... started to make sense.
Today: Knowing myself feels good. So do well-established boundaries. I am finally free from the patterns of my past. And am more educated, present and alive than ever before. I love meeting new people. And I love to share the gift with others.
I'll sign-off today with this proverb:
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was going to end, it became a butterfly.
Fly freely. It's time.