Yesterday I embroidered nearly all day, timing myself for different designs. Making myself have breaks, pottering in the garden and checking out the puter. Even though I slept well last night I was up and down going to the loo, my dreams were strange - people from my past flitting in and out and everything was like it was in an arthouse movie. Normally my dreams are clear, vibrant and very lucid, these dreams were, well - dreamlike.
Today feels like it will be a good day, the sky is blue and the birds are singing their little hearts out. Since it was ANZAC Day yesterday the local market is being held today instead. I usually like the markets but recently have not gone to any, even the markets at all the little towns near by have been neglected by me. I find places with lots of people quite irritating at times. I just want to get in, get what I need and leave. I tend to do my grocery shopping at times when I know the store will be quiet. I know the markets will be busy, they are a tourist attraction now. Pretty soon the street outside my house will be double parked with cars. So working in my little room at the front of the house is off the menu this morning.
I really did not feel like going out today, I can feel myself going into my hermit mode. My life seems to have got busy all of a sudden and I'm feeling the need for solitude again. A friend has just called and is coming over this arvy. This is good since I was going to drive out to her place. Now I can just relax knowing I don't have to rush around doing stuff.
I started tapping again, I had not done it seriously for ages since I felt fine, and I had no issues to deal with that were major. Everything was copable. But I just read an issue of a tapping newsletter that says its best to tap even when things are going good. So yesterday I started seriously tapping again.
Well so much for a quiet day, the family turned up en masse. They've all trooped off to the markets so I'm racing around tidying up, getting dressed and hiding all the breakables (2 year old grandaughter is a hurricane) . I'm going to sit for five minutes and tell myself how lucky I am to have them all and how grateful I am they turned up. I love my family, i am blessed to have my family.

Just discovered that rosehip tea helps the bladder, is a diuretic and helps with bladder infections.
I had three cups yesterday so no wonder I can't stop going to the loo. Works far better than the dandelion and ginger tea I had been taking.
You know, no matter what unfolds in this day I am going to savour every minute, it is a glorious day. I am going to sit down with my beautiful grand daughers and play. All those little things that niggle me - they're gone.


Rereading this blog, I can see how I like my solitude - I am alone but I am not lonely. I am blessed to have the friends that I have - not many but they are all precious. I am blessed to have my family - three strapping boys all grown to well adjusted, honest, caring men (though at times they can revert back to 5 year olds), a beautiful daughter in law. I am blessed to have people in my life I know I can trust and rely on. I am blessed to have a wonderful home, it might not be big or fancy but it is my sanctuary. I do have my bad days, days when even after two years of missing my partner I get a bit sad, days when things do overwhelm me and days when I worry about my health. But I have all the tools in place to combat these days.
Family back from the markets.
Well that went well, laughed at the antics of the two year old, she is such an old soul. Got an order for a baby set as well. So I'll definately have to get my act together. No slacking off now.
The girls tidied up their mess, left the house tidier than it was before. I am not stressing out, I am calm.


Jan

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