Lately the topic in many of the meetings I attend is on the twelfth step, "Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps..."; and I hear many ideas about spirituality and the circumstances of the awakening experience.   What I seldom hear is anyone describing what is happening after the awakening, how they are reaching the next level of spirituality in their lives or what the growth in the spiritual life is like for them.  Perhaps I am not hearing what is being said, or perhaps when we are in the early growth stages beyond awakening we do not know enough to describe our own growth.   Either I am ill equipped to understand the words that describe another's journey or we are mostly unable to articulate the growth of spirituality in our life.   Are we simply pre-schoolers in our recovery programs who are coming into a new class room dimension and unfamiliar with the territory?


Of all the experiences I have had, the ones that are beyond my five senses are the most powerful and life-changing without exception.  They have been difficult to describe, hard to relate to in terms of ordinary world experiences; and they are quite intimate, sometimes taking me months to process and integrate.   In retrospect, I realize that these experience were happening to me earlier in my life but I did not want to put them on the map of conscious thought - I dismissed them, or drank over them because they were too profound.


A life-changing dream of a Hawaiian goddess clearly speaking to me with love in her heart, to take a new direction.   An out of body journey to a past life as I sat down on the Oahu birthing stone where royalty came to be born. A near-death experience during congestive heart-failure when I was out of body and lovingly asked if I would return to complete my purpose.   A hundred times since these when I have been touched by the loving grace of synchronicity and co-creation to see a miracle unfold before my eyes.  These become my spiritual life - a life beyond the five senses.  A life of trust in my creator.  A life that is full beyond my measure.


These experiences, beyond the fantastic five, are my spiritual awakenings.  Today, I welcome them into my life like new children.  Every day is a prayer for one for you, and one for me.   And I pray for clarity.  Clarity in my life is what I need today, for without it I do not have the slightest idea of what I'm doing or where I'm headed.  I am in the dark bumbling about and I will very likely hurt myself and others as I go through the day.   So here is my prayer:


God, grant us the clarity to understand your will,

the trust to carry it out,

and the wisdom to stay in the moment.


Happy meditations and aloha,




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Comment by Doug Lowe on December 26, 2010 at 11:00am
Hi Sis, welcome to the journey and the site. I'm so happy to see you here. Your comments make me feel like dancing in my new Guitar Hero PJs - especially about your own path to here, and yet I at the same time I hear your own deep sighs over getting to here. I'm glad I'm here too along with you and all the others who chose to come along. I'm very happy today, this morning, especially after such a beautiful day yesterday. There were only a few times I caught myself being selfish or cruel - how easy it is to fall back in to bad habits when we least expect; and I got to say I'm sorry, let's start over or have Karen remind me that I should. Sometimes it's just like kindergarten ... and for the most part it's a lot of fun these days. Did I tell you I left my job a few months ago?

I think you have a beautiful guide near your left shoulder, and if you listen carefully you'll hear the whisper of peace and serenity in every thought - just another reason why you are loving here so much these days. Speaking of tidings.... Did I tell you I'm going to live in an ashram in the Bahamas for 6 weeks starting next month? Heh sis, we really should talk soon and get this off the net! Love you! doogie.
Comment by Kimberly Drennen on December 25, 2010 at 5:29am

My dearest brother

I feel priviledged to call you my brother.  You have grown into a truly insightful and spiritual man.  Something I think Dad, in "his own way" really wanted to be but could never truly achieve because he was unable to do so many things.  Yet, I believe this was much of the source of his discontent.  His inability to accept and rejoice in who he was.  I have learned much about myself in the last few years.  While it is always a journey, I feel more centered and have greater clarity than many years ago.  Some days I find the regrets of past feelings and actions overwhelming and do not like the person I was.   Yet, it is all part of the journey for without those steps on that path, I might not be here.  I love here.  I love you and I am so glad that you chose to stay here on earth when given the option almost 4 years ago.  Tidings of great joy to you, doogie.  All my love, Kimmie

Comment by Doug Lowe on December 19, 2010 at 7:20pm

Thank you for your encouraging response and welcome thoughts.  I hope you too have a beautiful holiday with loved ones and spread the joy that's evident in your heart.

Comment by Alexa on December 19, 2010 at 6:48pm

I pray for clarity also, and love your take on the serenity prayer. I too find myself adjusting the words as I move forward in my process, but I especially appreciate your words and prayer and share today. powerful. and hard to put into words as well. thank you.

ps. your post also reminds me of a saying I read recently from a wonderful teacher,  "to speak of these things is near impossible. but to not speak of them doesn't do either." or something like that. thank you for sharing. and have a bless-ed holiday with your loved ones.


"God, grant us the clarity to understand your will,

the trust to carry it out,

and the wisdom to stay in the moment." - wonderful is an online global community creating personal freedom and conscious wellbeing for ourselves and our world



 May we be at peace
May our hearts stay open
May we remember the light of our own true nature
May we and all beings be completely healed

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