Healing and recovery can be awesome. It is a process. It's a process that can take a long time. It is one that can be a drag and can make us feel like we're trudging along the road. I've been stuck, feeling like I'm not moving and not healing and not making any progress. The truth is. I am. I've been revisiting my healing journey and examining those things I did in early recovery that got me through and helped me. I'm finding it VERY helpful to go back and almost start the process again. I feel… Continue
Added by Eric on March 8, 2009 at 9:44am —
I just responded to a blog post someone wrote about having an open heart and empathy. I was raised by my parents to put other people first, to walk a mile in the other guy's shoes, to turn the other cheek, to treat others the way you want to be treated. I'm realizing it's all crap.
The truth is I have extended myself to others my whole life. I have done, focused on, comforted, aided, helped, been there for other people literally my whole life. The truth is I have been sucked dry by… Continue
Added by Eric on February 1, 2009 at 11:57am —
I've taken about four stabs at trying to write something here today. I want to contribute but don't want to waste anyone's time with a bunch of blather and nonsense. For the first time, I realize I've got nothing to say. That's an awakening. Love and mercy to all.
Added by Eric on January 23, 2009 at 5:30pm —
I was thinking this morning of the irony that we as humans who ultimately ask "Who Am I?", are created by the great "I Am". Judeo/Christian belief teaches that when asked his name, God answered "I AM."
I haven't thought too deeply about this but does it mean that the journey of awakening and self discovery I am on will eventually lead me to the answer "I am" and that I too can be god or god like? I guess the question for me becomes am I on a journey toward god or to become god? I… Continue
Added by Eric on December 30, 2008 at 10:04am —
Whatever your tradition, whatever you celebrate, may you have peace during this season and may you have an enchanting, awakened new year. Love and Mercy to all!
Added by Eric on December 24, 2008 at 7:04pm —
Yesterday, for whatever reason, I was thinking about the unfettered, uninhibited, unthinking things I would do as a child. I would go puddle jumping, I would climb trees, I would play spaceman to the moon using an empty refrigerator box as my space capsule, I would play with GI Joe, I would play Batman, I would play Superman. Superman was among the ultimate childhood experiences. My mother would pin a dish towel to my shirt and I would have an instant cape. I remember running around the house,… Continue
Added by Eric on December 17, 2008 at 10:38am —
Have you ever wanted to shout so loud that people around you turn to look, all in an effort to make sure you're still alive? Sometimes I feel invisible and dismissed. I know I take up space, my ever expanding waistline tells me so. Then why do I feel like I'm neither seen nor heard? There are times I feel like the proverbial voice in the wilderness. Sometimes a gentle "hello" out to the universe is not enough. It just bounces and echoes around like the sound of footsteps in an empty cathedral.… Continue
Added by Eric on December 9, 2008 at 10:22pm —
Over the last two days, I have been to three different doctors. I'm generally in pretty good health and don't run to the doctor everytime I have a runny nose. I don't do pain too well but I'm usually inclined to tough it out. Maybe it's the male ego that keeps me from seeking help. A couple of years ago I had knee surgery and have since been treated for horrible migraines and a couple of allergic reactions that made my throat swell up. But that's the extent of it. Over the last couple of months… Continue
Added by Eric on December 5, 2008 at 10:23pm —
When I was a kid, I had a friend and we swore we would be friends forever. When we were about 11 years old he moved away and aside from a visit a year later, we haven't seen each other since. Over 35 years later I still remember the sense of freedom, the sense of fun, the laughter we shared when we were young. Now, I wonder what it would be like if we ran into each other. Would I recognize him, would he recognize me? Would we have anything in common other than the shared memories? Would we… Continue
Added by Eric on November 26, 2008 at 10:07pm —
Am I the only one who has difficulty accepting thanks from someone? They'll say "Thank you" and I'll respond "No problem" or "No Sweat" or "Anytime" or something other than saying "You're Welcome." It's almost as if I'm afraid to admit I did something for someone and that my actions had an impact on them. It's also as if I don't attach value to that thing that I may have done. If someone is willing to thank me for something, I should be able to accept their thanks. It's easy to give thanks,… Continue
Added by Eric on November 24, 2008 at 10:26pm —
"I release my barbaric YAWP from the roofs of the world" Walt Whitman. I've always thought this idea of releasing a cry from my soul, a shout to the universe, saying "I'M HERE" is a powerful way to feel an aliveness. I can picture the person in the icon above, who is sitting on a craggy cliff, alone, getting ready to release their YAWP. I don't know where Walt Whitman got the word YAWP from but to me it seems perfect for the action. It seems to sum everything up very consisely. Say it - YAWP.… Continue
Added by Eric on November 20, 2008 at 7:30am —
Today in the US is Veterans Day, a day to honor those who have served in the armed forces. This day reminds me that some sort of service can be an integral part to our healing process. Being in service to someone or something is a good way to pay forward the blessings we receive; it's a good way to "get out of myself" and it's a blessing to be able to do something for somebody else. We all know what service is and the types of opportunities available to us. Most times I'm so caught up in… Continue
Added by Eric on November 11, 2008 at 9:41am —
Start everyday with a smile, or a laugh, or a chuckle. It sets the tone for the rest of the day.
Added by Eric on November 9, 2008 at 9:38am —
I just wrote a blog entry about trust. When I was finished, I went through the motions of posting it and nothing happened. Now I think it's lost. As a result, I'm frustrated. It's silly how such a minor thing like not being able to publish a blog because my computer didn't work right, can make a relatively good day seem gray. I guess it means my thoughts about trust weren't ready to be shared yet. You know though, as I re-read what I just wrote, it really strikes me how the little,… Continue
Added by Eric on October 30, 2008 at 4:09pm —
Every morning one of our dogs stands next to the bed and very gingerly places her chin on the edge about an inch from my face. She is very quiet and doesn't do anything until I stir and open my eyes. At that point, she greets me with a single "slurp" on the tip of my nose. Every morning she makes me smile. Our practice at that point is to get out of bed, let her out and feed her a snack for breakfast.
I think it's amazing the lessons we can learn from animals. She patiently waits… Continue
Added by Eric on October 21, 2008 at 9:37am —
I commented to another member this morning that yesterday here was a beautiful day. One of the things I did, aside from getting the oil in my motorcycle changed, was to get a haircut and a shave. I've never had a shave from a barber, what a wonderful experience. My face was wrapped in hot towels, rubbed with smelly oils, and massaged.
When I got home I proudly told my wife what I had done. I made her smell me to see if I really smelled like a new haircut. I told her how much it cost… Continue
Added by Eric on October 19, 2008 at 8:30am —
There is a discussion group that was started here called Jokes. I added a dumb joke because I wanted to participate, even though I don't know any decent jokes.
My point is, too often I forget to laugh. Not only is laughing good exercise, it is relaxing. It also allows one to share something light with others. Sometimes the best service I can offer to another is to make them laugh.
If you laugh, at that moment there's no room for sadness, anxiety, fear. Sometimes all it… Continue
Added by Eric on October 16, 2008 at 9:37am —
A few years ago, I began a recovery process. At that time I would be asked "What are you doing to take care of yourself?" I never knew what that meant. I always translated "taking care of myself" as "how much money did I spend trying to make myself feel better." Eventually I realized no matter how much stuff I bought, it didn't help me feel better.
Today, for me it means it's OK to honor myself enough to know that self care is essential to my journey. Have I taken the time to… Continue
Added by Eric on October 14, 2008 at 9:44am —
The past month and a half was probably the worst of my entire life. The beginning of August found my job under the threat of elimination due to budget shortfalls and a failing economy. Worst of all, a decision wouldn't be rendered about my position until the end of September. This meant that everyday, every hour, every minute for over a month I was faced with living in a severe state of uncertainty. I was literally paralyzed with fear about the possible outcomes. What would I do, where would I… Continue
Added by Eric on October 13, 2008 at 10:20am —
We need a new vacuum cleaner. Currently, we have an upright bagless thing that continually gets clogged with dog hair, etc. It's also heavy which makes it hard to lug up and down stairs. When it does get blocked up, it loses its power to clean. I don't know what to get to replace it with but anything has to be better than what we've got.
Our vacuum cleaner, in an odd way, is sort of like my life journey. When I get clogged with junk, I lose my power. Sometimes I feel so heavy and… Continue
Added by Eric on October 11, 2008 at 1:55pm —